Double-dogging Dare #1 – Become a TV Producer in NY

One of you soft-cocks finally gave me a dare which I completed, if I do say so myself, with great success…

Matt and I were in New York recently – he was there for a conference and I was on holiday! So, I crashed a couple of industry parties… I’m not a TV type, I’m an IT nerd but I have gleaned enough knowledge over the years from my husband and all of our TV-type friends to, well, bullshit my way through it…

So, here I am, imbibing illicitly-gained cocktails, eating unethically obtained finger-food and rubbing shoulders with a number of Abercrombie & Fitch mid-level TV flunkies in New York. At this point, Matt decides to make it interesting… he dares me to see if I can do what all the other loser-Aussies and Kiwi’s are desparately flailing around doing and try to get myself a job in NY – as a producer. No showreel in hand. No business card. No experience for that matter. Just me and my ability to bullshit.

Never one to turn down an absurdly pointless challenge, I build myself a promo-producer persona. I’ve been free-lancing around Sydney for 6 years or so. Prior to that I worked at Channel (Insert Channel Number here – depending on who I’m talking to at the time) for 4 years. And before that ABC – a public government-run station. Last year or so has been really focussed on switching to digital in Australia which is interesting and brings it’s own set of challenges in terms of re-educating the audience, finding the real selling point for your audience and so on. You get the picture…

I start quietly by just talking to the people who happen to sit down on the couches next to me.  This is pretty slow going and I can only sit still for so long after all because at this point, I’ve had enough vodka to shame David Hasselhoff. So I grab Glenn (he knows EVERYBODY) and we do a circuit of the room.  Glenn points out a few power-house people to me and so off I go!

I’m like a machine… I work that room like Lindsay Lohan works an ounce of blow.  I’m charming, witty, knowledgeable, interested and so damn creative it blows my mind! Boom! And, most importantly, I’m not afraid to flash a bit of boob should the situation call for it.

But how does one measure success in this type of dare?  Clearly I’m not actually going to be offered a job on the back of one booze-sodden clutch in a dark cocktail bar… so the agreed upon measure?  Business cards baby!

  • Cherine Anderson, VP Marketing & Business Development, Push Creative
  • Jonathan Block-Verk, President, Promax|BDA
  • Charlie Mawer, Executive Creative Director, Red Bee Media
  • Reemah Sakaan, Head of Marketing, BBC
  • Martin Poole, Director, Sway Media
  • Charley Holland, Chief Squirrel, The Charley Holland Agency (to be frank, this one doesn’t count because he knows my true identity)
  • I don’t have photo or video evidence of completion of this dare (as per the double-dog dare rules) however I do have the business cards and several witnesses. I’m hoping that will suffice.

    So if any of you promo producers out there are looking for a job in New York, come see me! I’ve got contacts coming out of my arse!

    And please, please… SOMEONE give me another dare!

    Double-dogging is for punks

    So there’s this wacky new craze called ‘double-dogging’ apparently.  All the kids are doing it.  It’s when you dare someone to do something – hilarious!  (Ah sarcasm… my old friend.  You serve me well.).

    See a few examples here

    So where are these people that are so motivated?  I just don’t geddit.  Seems my friends are frickin lazy.  We might work up the chutzpah to do it once or even twice but that sucker is gonna get tired real quick.  I don’t want to be lazy – I want to be wacky and fun but seriously, I’m not gonna.

    Well damn you, damn you to hell, apathy!  Is my life so super that I just can’t be fucked doing something mildly entertaining for a bit?  Hell no!  I’ve never been afraid of looking stupid for the purposes of entertainment.  So challenge me people… gimme something GOOOOOD.  But remember, you’re gonna have to be challenged too.

    It can’t be any lame old dare.  It’s gotta be good.  A double-dog dare is well up the ‘dare’ scale.

    DOUBLE-DOG DARE – verb phrase. Also: dog dare, double-black-dog dare, double-dare, n*gger-dare, niggle dare. Chiefly Southern, Southern Middle. To challenge defiantly. Note: The formulaic phrases build both on alliteration and (usually euphemistic) intensifiers. 1892 Dialectic Notes, 1.229 KY, Dare. Children in quarrelling say, “I dare you.” “I dog dare you.” “I black dog dare you.” “I double dog dare you.” “I double black dog dare you.”
    From “Dictionary of American Regional English,” Volume II by Frederic G. Cassidy (1991, Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, Cambridge, Mass., and London, England).

    So fire up your imagination and let’s get cracking!  Soft-cocks need not apply.

    Make it inventive and make it hard!
    Nothing that can land me with a criminal record.
    Photo/video evidence of the double-dog being completed is required.