Guy Shits Himself in a Judo Exhibition

Just finished reading a very intriguing feature piece in NY Magazine (this girl ain’t no luddite!) on distraction in the digital age.  In the article, was a sentence that I just had to note because, well, you will understand once you read it…

“I consider it a victory for the integrity of pre-web human consciousness that I was able to successfully resist clicking on the first ‘related video’ after the chimp [playing pac-man], the evocatively titled ‘Guy shits himself in a judo exhibition’.”

I heartily encourage you to read this article if you, like me, find yourself surrounded, and excited by, the bevy of technologically-driven information at your fingertips.

And, eerily, the author references the Boston Molasses Disaster quite a lot which I, in a so not-as-nerdy-as-it-sounds way,  learnt about during an Absolute Balderdash marathon just last weekend.  Kismet or something!  

You can read the article by Sam Anderson at http://nymag.com/news/features/56793

Oh and yeah. Here is a video of a guy shitting himself during a judo exhibition.

Might as Well Face it, I’m Addicted

Last medicineA terrible thing happened this morning. My heart was racing, I broke out in a cold sweat and I felt something rise up into my throat. I was in panic. And I don’t mean this figuratively. In my panic, I thrashed around like NASA naming a space station, searching for the cause of my problem.  I checked everything and everywhere.  I called everyone.  

 

My problem?  My internet wasn’t working.

I’m not kidding.  I felt so lost without access to the world.  Email, twitter, skype, SMH, Crikey.  All dead to me. My once sexy laptop rendered nothing more than a plank of eco-aluminium.  This panic last for a good 20 minutes.  I tried ignoring it and doing some, you know, work, but it sat there, a sick feeling I couldn’t shake. 

Once I had fixed the problem (the plug was loose) and I noticed all my symptoms disappear I realised that it’s time I accept it.  I’m addicted.  Addicted to being connected.

This apparently, is a legitimate addiction, according to KIMBERLY S. YOUNG, Psy.D, sometimes known as Pathological Computer Use  or PCU for the cool kids (according to the  Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V)) or Pathalogical Internet Use or Internet Addiction.  So I decided to take the test and find out for sure if I too suffer from PCU.  With questions like;  How often do you find that you stay on-line longer than you intended? How often does your job performance or productivity suffer because of the Internet? How often do you check your e-mail before something else that you need to do? How often do you find yourself saying “just a few more minutes” when on-line?  I knew I was screwed.

Fortunately I was nowhere near the “Your Internet usage is causing significant problems in your life. You should evaluate the  impact of the Internet on your life and address the problems directly caused by your Internet usage.”  My score was 53 – which means “You are experiencing occasional or frequent problems because of the Internet. You should consider their full impact on your life.”    

So is it occasional or frequent?  Make up your mind!   Ok, ok… I’m deflecting.  It’s not the end of the world but it’s certainly something worth considering.  Solutions for ‘recovery’ are pretty thin on the ground from what I can tell.

  1. Set a schedule (sounds reasonable… I can do that.)
  2. Write down your goals when you go on the computer (my goals?  what fucking goals?  I don’t know what I’m making for dinner tonight let alone my goals for the next 15 minutes)
  3. Record what you actually do, or install software to monitor your usage  (well, jeez.. then my husband will know I’ve been surfing “Busty Babes Being Anal Probed” and we can’t have that)
  4. Join a support group  (WTF? Hi I’m, John and I’m an internet addict.   I really had to hit rock bottom before… blah blah blah… hmmm… the junk masters will laugh you off the podium and take away your instant coffee and Nice biscuit quick smart).
  5. Take a technology holiday  (am I allowed to bring my laptop with me? You know, just to watch a DVD if it rains?)
  6. Watch less TV (ah, hello?  shouldn’t I be watching MORE TV?)
  7. Try counseling or psychotherapy  (ah yes, the give-me-money angle)

Yeah.. so I’ll get on that.  ASAP.  Sure.  But first, let me just google some more ‘treatment’ suggestions.