I’ve always wanted to be ‘talented’. I don’t need to a wunderkind… but I’d just like to be great at something… and to be passionate and driven. Sadly, I’m not. I’m above average at most everything but great at nothing. It’s a terrible burden to bear…
Last night I saw the film Rachel Getting Married – the one Anne “more boring than a vanilla Vienetta” Hathaway got an Oscar nod for. It’s a film about family and the inherent disfunction – it’s about the truism that family never love us the way we want them to. I sat through that movie with envy in my heart.
Why envious? Well, isn’t my family just as fucked up? Don’t I have a wellspring of angsty fodder buried and waiting for it’s day on the silver screen? I’m pretty good with those word-type things… is it too much to ask for a little ambition and drive too?
And yet, I sit at the goddam computer with a blank page staring at me… I’ll get maybe a page – at the most.. what about the other 119 pages? Where are they?
According to Angela “I’m such a great writer I have a fun club” Booth (oh for christs sake), the writers curse is perfectionism. Is she insane? Perfectionism? I don’t need it to be perfect, I just want to start the damn thing and maybe finish it too!
Maybe I was born with writers block?
Ha.
OK so I researched this idea a little… no, really… here are some suggestions I’ve tried:
Talk to a monkey
I don’t exactly know what this means, but I have booked myself for a trip to the zoo (overnight no less – gotta get in as much ‘talking’ time as possible) . I’ll let you know how that pans out. Contrary to what you’re thinking right now, I’m not joking. I paid for $240 buckeroos for this so it better feckin work.
Try Freewriting
Yeah, I tried it. It’s still just gobbledy gook. But I did learn that I have a strong interest in pillows, baby seals and lasic surgery. Hopefully not all at the same time.
Vacuum Your Lungs
After I’d put away the dustbuster (snigger), I tried this out. It’s an old singing trick. Exhale completely and then bend over. Close your throat so you don’t breathe in any air and stand up again. Keep holding your breath for as long as you can and then breathe. I passed out.
Add a Ritual Behaviour
The examples given are, drink from a glass of water every 30 seconds or swallow a mentos at the end of every paragraph. I tried both. My teeth feel like a baboons arse and I can’t leave the house without locking the front door 17 times.
Basically I’m screwed.
Filed under: Musing & Boozing | Tagged: movies, writing | Leave a comment »