Tuesday Timeshift #11: Winged Creatures

Winged Creatures is an ensemble film by Australian director Rowan Woods (Little Fish, The Boys) that charts the interaction between a group of strangers in the aftermath of a shooting in an LA diner. It’s a film that initially threw me, till I saw the light brothers and sisters!

As we headed home afterwards, my movie-going compatriot asked me what I thought and I gave it a giant “meh”. That got us talking quick smart because he thought it was fabulous. Some of the characters (not all, to be fair) seems like such archetypes – the trailer trash waitress who’s a single mum and tries to shag everything in sight (Kate Beckinsale), the working class middle-aged man who feels a failure (Forest Whitacker) and the doctor who poisons his wife for no good reason (Guy Pearce) just made no sense to me. Nor did the creepy kid (Dakota Fanning).

Then my wise and wizened friend said something that stopped me in my tracks. The lights came on and suddenly, there was someone at home. To mix a metaphor or two. My perceptions as to what the characters were doing was so completely wrong. As a person who sees MANY films, I sat down in that comfy chair with my tank of popcorn and watery cola… and a bucket-load of preconceptions about what certain archetypes do and say and why they do and say these things. In doing so, I missed the subtlety… the gentle picking away at the scab of these supposed cliches and seeing the truth underneath.

With blinkers off, I can say I too am a convert. Winged Creatures is so layered and delicate. Nothing is dropped up in your lap ready for you to swallow down whole. It’s thoughtful and interesting and requires the viewer to set aside their own prejudices and see the individuals within. In hindsight, a marvellous film!

Oh, yeah. It looks real purdy too.

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Manboob Monday #14: Celebrity Knockers No. 3 Jack Nicholson

Well it’s become a veritable celeb-fest here at manboob HQ and you can’t discuss celeb-moob without mentioning Jack Nicholson…

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Grandma is a crack whore

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Yeah well you know what Grandma. I think you’re a fucking clueless old hag.   Oh yeah, and enjoy your goddam high-lighter.

–Grand daughter

Don’t believe me? Think I’m a mean ungrateful grand daughter?. Catch it up close to really take in the joy.

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* disclaimer:  Margaret Van whatever… not my actual grandmother.  Just some random page I found on Amazon that amused me…

To the Woman Who Shat Herself in My Car

I’m entirely ripping this off from Joshuah Bearman because it’s about the funniest story I’ve ever heard and I must get it down so it never ever leaves me and I can read it again and again.  This was a post on Craigslist:

I posted an item a week ago in hopes of finding a specific woman. I received a number of encouraging emails from people, but one person decided to respond to me rather rudely and flag it for “miscategorized.” It was posted under “men seeking women”. I am a man, seeking a woman. I really thought that was clear in the post.

It is sad to see that someone feels the need to wrongly flag my post and then email me with mean phrases that looked as if they were strung together by a ten year old.

So, to the person that wasn’t courage enough to send me an email with their real name:

1) Go back to school. Get your G.E.D. and enjoy your life washing dishes at Denny’s.

2) If you are going to send an email attacking someone, have the courage to leave your name. My name is Tad.

3) She contacted me today so go fuck yourself!

To those that read this and is not the mean person: I apologize for saying “fuck” but I really do think the cowardly person should stop being mean to others OR I hope he/she is mean to the wrong person (wink wink).

The original post was this:

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle’s lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don’t think anyone wins 100% of the time. That’s why they call it “gambling”. I’m the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better…like when you’re not sitting on a heated leather seat…

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Tad

P.S. – If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…

Hottest 100 Songs of All Time 2009

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my votes, in no particular order:

  • The Beatles – Blackbird
  • You Am I – Berlin Chair
  • PJ Harvey – This Mess We’re In (feat. Thom Yorke)
  • The Rolling Stones – Bitch
  • Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit
  • Jeff Buckley – Grace
  • Bill Withers – Ain’t No Sunshine
  • Leonard Cohen – Hallelujah
  • Neil Young & Crazy Horse – The Needle And The Damage Done
  • Grandmaster Flash – The Message

What did you vote for??