Manboob monday #2: Run Fatboy

Lucky you!  It’s Manboob Monday again.   Well, bless this little porkchop for sharing himself with the world!  Clearly this is a chap who’s proud of his assets.  And frankly that takes a courage that’s… well, tinged with a little bit of crazy.  I’d tell you to prepare yourself but by now the page has fully loaded so it’s already here for your viewing pleasure (?).

They do look like a milk-producing moobs.  See, he’s trying to squeeze a little bit out for you right now, sweet lad!  Odd though, that one so well endowed in the breast area would be completely missing genitals?  You’d think that if you’ve got enough hormones running around to make boobs, you’d also have a correlatingly ginormous penis?  Stands to reason doesn’t it?  (And yes, correlatingly IS a made up word).

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Friday Flix: #2 Full Frontal Harry Potter

Equus is a play about a young man with a horse fetish.  And I do mean fetish in the sexual sense.  This is a promotional shot for the play, in which Harry Potter, sorry… Frodo… sorry, again(!)… Daniel Radcliffe is playing the lead role. 

It is a beautiful shot no doubt about it.  But come on!  It’s Harry Potter.  No amount of unsheathed member is going to convince me that he’s somehow become a sexy, manly star.  Six-pack or no, he’s still a wee lad.  Stop sniggering, that’s not what I mean.

Notice how they’ve strategically left his hairy toes in the shadows?  Back to the Shire with you, you rascally young pup!  And put that silly appendage away!!

Spam Whore Unmask Thyself

Have you ever noticed that spam porn is always about chicks?  I was cleaning out my spam, as you do every blue moon, and I noticed an odd trend.  Allow me to elucidate…
 

give her more of your rod
bring joy to your better half
rock her world every night
be aware of her needs
show her what you’re really packing
give her ecstacy
bang her, show her your love

 

Are you seeing the pattern here?  Do mine eyes deceive me? THESE ARE BEING WRITTEN BY WOMEN!!!!!!  I highly doubt that men are that motivated to ‘be aware of her needs’ which means it must have been written by a woman.  Now before you jump down my throat with your soon-to-be long hard rod, I’m not suggesting that men don’t care, I’m just saying that a command to ‘give her ecstacy’ isn’t a big male motivator.  I’m suggesting that perhaps some of the following subject lines may carry a little more impetus for the male psyche:

impale that bitch
wanna be a titan at the trough
be the biggest dick  
(ok this one has some problems I acknowledge that.  It’s a work in progress).
add inches to your rod
swinging dicks need not apply
make her bleed (oh, did I go too far?)

Now don’t they sound more masculine?  Surely any man would be jumping to be “the biggest dick”?  My point is, that there are women out there writing this spam porn and annoying me.  (Well, let’s not overstate things.  To be frank, I clear my spam out about once a year (apologies to all those real people who sent me emails like 8 months ago and you’ve just today got a reply from me – blame the spam gods at yahoo)).  Something must be done.

Oh, and by the way gents, if you take away anything from this rant, please let it be this bang her, show her your love. 🙂 

* Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Penis’ ARE funny